LTY Thoughtlets

Breath is life. I know this. I fully and deeply cherish myself the most when I freely choose to stop my busi-ness of mind and activity, and re-focus my awareness inwards towards Stillness. Stillness arises out of my deeply breathing in and breathing out. The in-breath brings me to the simplicity of life itself and is fulfilled by the outbreath. I am cherishing myself when I allow my breath to lead me inwards to where the truth lives for me. My breathing is the way. It is not controlled by me. It is a gift of life and it is the gift of God. It is the Way I can attune the most immediately to who I Am. Breath is the key in the ignition.What others may perceive me to be, or what events my personality and ego self have put into motion as creations of importance and circumstance, are chimeras when I breathe into my Self. Breathing takes me inwards where there is peace, there is calm and there is Truth.

There is a statement that has become the foundation of my understanding: Take care of yourself so you CAN take care of others.

I was raised with a natural proclivity to giving, and no one taught me that giving was not to be sacrifice, but it was to come from overflow. I so loved to give. Making things better just seemed to be what I wanted most to do. It took me until my late twenties to discover what made the most sense. To give from the place in me that was happy and full. Then I naturally wanted to share the overflow with no thought or experience of it depriving me. What a concept. Taking care of me first, so I can take care of others with quality giving. I discovered that this way of giving left no space for deprivation, resentment, irritation, passive aggression, or false duty.

I became more attentive to observing what made me happy, what filled my cup, what really turned me into an overflowing fountain of healthy giving, healthy loving. In these years, I have come to understand that it is my responsibility to be accountable for being my best Human.

There are two foundation Life Keys that alchemically transform me from darkness, doubt, fear, or negativity of any kind. It took me a long time to build an inward commitment to these keys. If I do not do them, I suffer. I suffer my false sacrifice of what most honors me and cherishes me.

The first Life Key is Meditation, or what I call Spiritual Exercises. I find the early morning to be my best time to feel the Silence most palpably. Silence is my preference for this sacred time. I love Silence. I know that I do, so this is when I choose to have my silent spirit party. My bedroom has an old recliner that was the chair of choice of my oh-so-cherished spiritual teacher when he was alive and would visit us. He would go to that chair in our living room, recline, and radiate. It is now in the bedroom. Next to it is a lovely table, with plenty of space for the pictures of my spiritual mates: John-Roger (JR), Jesus, my husband John Morton, Sawan Singh, Muktananda, and more. I love my purple candle, the box of matches with a heart painted on the top, and my other accouterments of soul traveling. I have earplugs, tiger balm, and my ipod and earphones with many CDs of my teacher’s meditations and seminars about Soul Transcendence. I love to get in this chair around 5 a.m. and begin attuning to the Light, the Holy Spirit, God, Jesus, John-Roger, angels, and other beloveds. I become aware of my breath as I breathe in and breathe out. I chant my tones and I take off into other realms. When I return, I am ready. I am ready to respond to all that calls for my attention here in this world. I am ready to respond with quality loving for who I love so dearly as I do my husband. I then graduate to the cats, balancing schedules and appointments, upcoming travel, and fixing what is broken.

To my second foundation Life Key: Exercise and oxygen intake.

I started dancing at three. My mother possibly needed extra time to herself, or she genuinely wanted me to be appropriately molded into Grace. She enrolled me into ballet school. I had so much energy, she quickly realized that it used me up, and it also made me very, very happy. I did not have to be convinced to practice. She gave me more lessons. Besides books and the printed word, Ballet became the passion of my young life. Wherever we moved, I was enrolled in the local Ballet school, the very best Mother could find. I was good. I decided this would be my profession. In the ways that I seemed to do everything that truly engaged me, I immersed myself. I passionately learned everything I could. I read Ballet books, I went to any Ballet troupe that came to our city. I was exposed to Russia and I loved the history of Russian Ballet. I loved Diaghilev, Nijinsky, Stravinsky, 1910 in Paris, the Ballets Russes de Monte-Carlo, and then I loved Margot Fonteyn, Balanchine, Nureyev, and Baryshnikov. I loved the movie, The Red Shoes. I was soon proud of my bleeding toes. I was proud that my first four toes were so even, I could balance in my toe shoes better and longer than my peers.

I was healthy and I was strong, and addicted to movement. I was addicted to athleticism and challenging my body to endure. I loved sweating and I loved breathing. Learning new and difficult movements increased my breath and I loved it. I was so happy moving to beautiful music. I felt I could fly.

Years later, when I had finished my observations of what made me happy, I easily knew. I was already ahead of the game. Besides committing to my Spiritual Exercises, I am committed to physically exercising. I love to fill myself with breath. I transform into a Joyful giver. My conscious breathing moves me into Spirit. My physical exercise, breath, and oxygen, invigorate my body.

Now I am one who is cherishing myself.

I am overflowing, and I so naturally cherish all beings.

I am a lover of God and I am passionate about animals and goodness. I am Speed. I am a Ferrari and I am flying high and swooping all around the skies and clouds in Freedom. I am unimpinged and in my OWN rhythm without interruptions. I am fierce and intense and clear. I am Aquarius and independent and free and cleanly outspoken. I am my bed and the feeling of white clean sheets and many, many white soft pillows. I am a lover of goodness. I am relaxed in the presence of goodness and kindness. I am a juicy steak, a full-bodied glass of wine, and a crunchy, super fresh, just-picked green salad. I am a hearty rich cup of coffee in the morning.

I am a Lover of Jesus, JR and John, and unashamed of the power of loving them. I am my books. They smell like me and full of diversity and moods and wisdoms and provocations and enchantments. I am a wild, wild gypsy with a big heart and willing to marry a whole tribe rather than one gypsy. I am an Academy Award, a golden man in my heart boldly releasing my creativity unrestricted, flowing and magnificent, expanding, loving, touching all in range of the flames of my spirit, now released…ahhhh, I see JR’s smile as his Spirit says, “Goodbye for now, and remember that I LOVE YOU and GOD LOVES YOU. Remember”.

I have been immersing myself in the atmosphere of Lidian Jackson Emerson, Thoreau, and Emerson. Thoughts flooding. The sacrifice that women make to marry. Not all women, but I suspect that not much has changed since this time in the 1800’s. If for no other reason than women still bear children. It is the most basic through-line in women’s history. It is a core drive in us to caretake, to attend, to be aware and sensitive to the needs of others. And this is a drive inside of me as well.When I read of Lidian and her choices, from the perspective of this time in 2023, she was a vital Muse, and chose to create an inspired environment for the Transcendentalists. Her home was warm, inviting to many. Friends were never turned away or unnourished, they were given either a bed, room, food, or inclusion in the family. She created beauty, grace, ease, and welcome. She was smart, hearty in debate, and did her loving duty raising four children, meals, cleaning, availability to her husband’s needs, and gracious hostess to whomever was spontaneously invited by Emerson.

She was nourished by ideas, passionate about justice, Christianity, and had to surrender her ego to many other women chosen by Emerson as intellectual partners in companionship and discourse. This was something that she dearly cherished in her original hope and vision in partnering with him and choosing to marry. This was soon replaced by domestic duty, and work, and caretaking.

I think she was an Undercover Goddess. She provided the setting and fragrance that fed many, and most especially Thoreau and Emerson…in different ways. She was a true muse and match for Thoreau. Fortunately, she was able to find her satisfactions in the very few who recognized her, acknowledged her, and drank from her cup with real gratitude.

May we fully and lovingly acknowledge Mary Magdalene as one who embodies the Christ Consciousness, the Apostle of the Apostles. She is one who demonstrates strength of heart, courage, forgiveness, unconditional love, and carries this into the community as the ‘Good News’. Mary Magdalene witnessed Christ’s Crucifixion, His laying into the Tomb. And, she was the primary witness to His Resurrection. All four gospel writers agree Mary was the first person to whom Jesus chose to reveal himself. It was not until the middle of the third century that Mary Magdalene’s name and reputation became misunderstood, misinterpreted, and misconstrued.

Few characters in the New Testament have been so sorely miscast as Mary Magdalene, whose reputation as a fallen woman originated not in the Bible but in a sixth-century sermon by Pope Gregory the Great. Not only is she not the repentant prostitute of legend, meditating and levitating in a cave, but she was not necessarily even a notable sinner: Being possessed by “seven demons” that were exorcised by Jesus, she was arguably a victim more than a sinner.

Finally, in 1969, 1,378 years after Gregory fused three New Testament women into Mary Magdalene—and more than 450 years since religious scholars rejected this fusion confusion—the Roman Catholic Church officially corrected the mistake. Even so, the legend of the repentant prostitute still exercises a tenacious hold on the public imagination. Filmmakers like Martin Scorsese in 1988’s Last Temptation of Christ and Mel Gibson in The Passion of the Christ in 2004, keep the fiction alive.

I am a Beloved of John-Roger, and the Traveler consciousness, and a Beloved of the Lord Jesus Christ, and I share the being-ness and the depth of love as Beloved with Mary Magdalene.

I have a temper, and when it is triggered, I feel wild… as if I am bigger than the whole world, and I might be rash and dangerous and set the universe on fire. It is an unfettered energy rapidly erupting upwards until I am sure it is obvious that my red hair is burning. I might speak very directly, clear-eyed, and tell the truth as I see it in that moment. If I die, I die. I might say nothing at all, just inwardly seek an ice-cold pool to thrust myself in. There is an odd power in this rage, that has no good end. It is short-term satisfaction. Then it is clean-up time.

This rage is most often triggered by what I feel is injustice, where something good and pure has been damaged, attacked, and cruelly hurt…another person, animal, or me without any caring. I have one shameful hate, and it is meanness to something defenseless, caught open, vulnerable and unprotected, or unsuspecting. Then quickly the rage seeks to out itself and I quickly move to protect and defend the innocent with my life.

Sometimes I have wondered if I might have been an Amazon with my bow and spear poised at the ready while chasing the enemy at high speed on my horse. Or was I Boadicea, the Celtic warrioress, leading her men against the brutal Romans, utterly fearless, red hair flying and howling a war cry?

It is a silent sword I carry until the trigger is pulled. I am learning to do it better, with more finesse and less noise, as Zorro might do: pulling out the sword quick as lightning, doing what is needed with swift precision….Putting the sword back in its sheath, clear with truth and grace, centered and inclusive without denying a thing, simply…well, this is how it is, now let’s move on.

In 2015, MSIA went on a magnificent group trip to France. I had had a vision in the early 2000s after a full immersion into studying the history of the Cathars in the South of France, that healing was still needed in this area, of the ethnic cleansing in 1209 (The Albigensian Crusade). I would often speak to John that ‘what if’ we took a MSIA group to the South of France to see if the Traveler and family could lift the horrors from that time of persecution and slaughter. Eventually we were on that trip with our beloved John Morton.

I know that throughout the South of France we placed love, light and prayer. I noticed a sadness in the land. I felt still the shadows of sorrow and fear. I prayed that we were making a difference. When we gathered in a circle just below Montsegur in the fields of the final burning massacre of 300 Cathars in 1244, we held hands and sang our Light together. I knew we were lifting the most traumatic events of this place. It was a privilege to be there.

The trip and my studies had made me aware of some of the evils committed by the Catholic Church, especially to the Cathars, thereby starting the Inquisition that lasted for centuries. When I returned home, I read an article of a speech by Pope Francis against ethnic cleansing. I was about to leave for Argentina and I felt compelled to ‘speak’ with this beautiful Pope from my heart about his opportunity to extend some absolution for the Church itself, and its tactics of punishment down through time.

I started writing a letter to him with my love and passion, believing that somehow it would reach him. It did. This is the letter. It was delivered by hand to him by his dear friend from Buenos Aires. A priest. Two beloved initiates in Argentina, very close friends of mine, gave him the letter as he was about to leave to go and spend time with the Pope. He delivered it to Pope Francis personally.

Some months later, we received an email that the Church had sent a Bishop to Montsegur to ask forgiveness of what had occurred there…it was “I am sorry” on behalf of the Church. It was an answer to the prayer, contained in my letter.

I love and respect Pope Francis, and pray for him with gratitude for his service, his heart and for his humility to say the magical, meaningful and healing words, “I am sorry”. God Bless you as a great servant of the Lord.

LETTER:

Oct 31, 2015

Dear Pope Francis,

I love you. You are a very great Pope. I pray for you joyfully, with gratitude you are in this world.

Jesus Christ is my Beloved and my life also.

I am not Catholic, but I recognize that you are a Heart opener and a great Shepherd for all mankind.

My name is Leigh Taylor-Young and my profession for a very long time has been as an actress. I have worked for over four decades in the film business in California. I made many television shows and many movies since the 1960s and I won an Emmy for my work in 1995.

As long as I can remember, I was aware of the dynamic Presence of Spirit. I became first a seeker, and then a dedicated student to know God and to ever increase my loving and devotion to God. I became a Minister in 1975. I stayed in my acting profession and at the same time was devoted to prayer and meditation and service.

Nine years ago, I came together with another Minister, John Morton, who has devoted his life to teaching and loving service all over the world. We are in the church called the Movement of Spiritual Inner Awareness (msia.org), founded by a very great man of God, and teacher of spirit and Soul Transcendence, John-Roger. John-Roger led my way into greater awareness of my Soul, my life purpose in loving and serving, and my expansion inwardly into the greater Christ. I now travel with my husband sharing the teachings on Soul Transcendence. We serve to assist in awakening people to their own Soul awareness and oneness with Christ. It is an honor to love and share and serve. Tomorrow we are on our way to Chile, Argentina and Brazil.

You, dearest Pope, are my family and of my own spiritual heart, and I feel comfortable asking you a favor. A favor of forgiveness that I deeply believe you have the power to demonstrate to the world.

You are addressing many of humanity’s imbalances, including this year you spoke out against genocide. Would you consider giving a blessing into the Languedoc region of Southern France to heal the genocide extended by the Catholic Church and France itself, against the Cathars in that region in 1209? Pope Innocent III initiated the Albigensian Crusade at that time against these people. It was the first crusade of Christian against Christian. This action, ongoing over some years, eventually led to the beginning of the Inquisition in 1233 to eliminate all remaining Cathars, or ‘heretics’. The spirit of inquisition caught on, and infectiously traveled to Spain in time.

At least a million people, and some chroniclers consider that up to eight million people were killed by armies of the Vatican and the French…primarily French. A predominant reason for this action was because the Cathars did not want to be Catholic and had strong influence in this thriving part of France of the Languedoc. I understand that the political conditions of the time were very complicated. However, the people who suffered deeply were the Cathars. They were Gnostic, and good, simple people who wished to be controlled only by God. They understood that their relationship with God was direct and pure, and needed no interventions (they were actually called the ‘Pures’ or ‘Bon Homme’, good men). They stood their ground in their faith, with remarkably little violence returned to their perpetrators. Many were martyred. The land that they had long nurtured was rich and abundant, and their culture was tolerant of all faiths. After this crusade, this area essentially collapsed and these provinces were now under the control of France and the church. Being Catholic was now essential, as the energy of the inquisition permeated all life, and fear of being ‘other’ was subliminally infused into daily life.

I passionately feel that the Albigensian Crusade is a mark to be healed and forgiven and blessed, as much darkness came from it. I do not value blame. It is a useless exercise and causes the perpetuation of darkness. I do my personal best to live for the healing, letting go of the past and forgiving it…this, for me, is the most fluent way that individuals, as well as whole cultures, can move to Greater Good. I feel so deeply that if you were to extend a blessing to this area and the people, and perhaps say ‘I am sorry’ on behalf of the Church, it would lift something up to Christ Himself and be a blessing for you and for the Church, and the land in France will open to greater Light. The power of ‘I am sorry’ is immeasurable in my opinion, and the world needs to see this demonstrated in more powerful ways by leaders. Accountability and forgiveness of self and others, leads to blessings and ultimately to Joy.

If this is not to be, I am not attached. I am grateful my heart feels safe with you to ask.

I want to share how much admiration I have for the Catholic Church and for the extraordinary sharing of the Christ teachings, Education and Charity. As a little non-Catholic girl, I was powerfully affected by the spiritual mystery of the Church, and begged my Catholic girlfriends for one of their little statues of saints that glowed in the dark. I was finally given one. It was St. Anthony. I held him to my heart every night and I prayed and prayed to Jesus, the saints, and a God I knew was ‘living’, just invisible. My parents were agnostic, and so I was on my own in my spiritual training, but I already knew Jesus, and I knew He walked with me in a very personal way. I have always loved St. Francis and take his teachings to my heart. During several trips to Assisi over the years, I became friends with Father Max Mizzi who lived there and taught of St. Francis. He is gone now, but oh what a beautiful Franciscan. He traveled all over the world doing his best to contribute to Peace.

Dear Pope Francis, I feel France has not overcome this wound of the past. I just returned from a month in this area of the Languedoc. My husband, John Morton, led a group there for several weeks, visiting these places of past events such as Toulouse, Montsegur, Carcassonne, Minerve, and Beziers, planting prayers of love and peace. I noticed several things about this time in France. First of all, there is a subliminal ‘witch hunt’ mentality in that if you belong to any spiritual devotion that is ‘other’ than the mainstream, you are vulnerable to being targeted such that your job, and life is ‘threatened’ with duress. There are lists kept and tracked as to any outer sign of what they might call a ‘cult’. This is a feeling of restriction. We also visited a charming small town of Espelette, and there was a beautiful old church, empty. No priest in residence and one came now only once of month. There was an energy of sadness and emptiness in this beautiful church. I was sad. A church longs for the aliveness of the Sacred…and this was just dark and void. I pose to you the consideration that this is all a result of the past and that you can bring forward New Life and spiritual vitality by the demonstration through you for the Church, a mea culpa and a loving blessing for all. A release of the past into the Christ. I see your Blessing as a magic wand of transformation for France spiritually. Possibly including an encouragement to honor all faiths that lead to God.

Thank you, dear Bishop of Rome, Father Francis.

Thank you for ‘listening’ and I pray this might reach you if for no other reason than I am one more person in this world that loves you and wants to tell you. God brought you to us at this time. I will be holding you in my heart for your health, your safety, your continued service to us all. I hold a prayer that one day my husband and I may meet you. I would like to hug you.

I love you, God bless you, and Peace, Be Still.

Leigh Taylor-Young